Oh my word 20 years

My word how time flies. I can’t believe it has been 20 years since I set up the business. It seems like only yesterday that I was full of hope, youthful exuberance and believed I could change the world! It didn’t take me long to realise that changing the world costs a few bob and is a pretty gargantuan task for one man! However, looking back I realise that I have a lot to be thankful for, not least a thriving business, which might not have been so successful had it been built on more practical foundations with less ambitious values!

At the centre of these values is an old-fashioned word - decency. To me the word decency embraces honesty and integrity; it sweeps up fairness and enhances the desire to do the right thing.

Combine the sudden and premature loss of my first wife in 2001 and an inexorable desire to treat people with decency and you end up with The Bereavement Register® (TBR), which next to my children is one of my proudest achievements.

Around 1800 people die every day in this country and back in 2001 deceased individuals would have been sent approximately 110 pieces of Direct Mail in the 12 months following their death. Disregard the environmental impact and the potential brand damage just for a moment and try to imagine the pain experienced by the relatives of the deceased, already struggling to come to terms with their loss, when yet another reminder comes through the letterbox.

Only 12 months after launching TBR my wife died suddenly of brain cancer and I was the recipient of this unwanted mail. While it was a constant struggle to watch my 8-year-old son picking up mail addressed to his dead mother, my over riding sentiment was not anger but a desire to stop it, and in doing so to make one of the most difficult moments in a person’s lifetime a little bit easier.

From that point on, transforming TBR from a simple data service into a fully-fledged countrywide consumer service became my mission. Within a matter of months the UK registration service had agreed to place death certificates into TBR wallets, which were being distributed by a growing number of Funeral Directors around the country. Hospitals, libraries, coroners, charities and the police force all got behind the service, enabling the bereaved to make a choice. It may seem strange but during the TBR journey I learned that some people were actually comforted by the continued flow of direct mail to their deceased loved one (albeit it junk...or at least some of it). Having been through the grieving process, I think I can safely say that there is no RIGHT way to grieve and everyone must be allowed to get through it in their own way.

Today, The Bereavement Register is used by thousands of companies and the average number of mailings to the recently bereaved has been reduced to about 20 items in the year following a death, which equates to a reduction of over 80%. However, successful as the brand has become there is still work to be done in changing the attitudes and practices of the remaining 20% of organisations that think they’re exempt from adopting more ethical habits regarding their data practises. Often, the worst offenders are organisations that should know better such as government offices, quangos and some charities who have convinced themselves that their cause is more important than the individual.

Like most success stories, this one is down to the collective effort of so many people, far too many to mention. I am incredibly proud of the difference that we have made to the bereaved. Perhaps my naive desire to change the world has been realised, albeit in a very small way.

Here’s to the next 20 years.